Freddie Mercury: The Truth About Love

When early man sat around the Savannah campfire, it was his ability to tell stories, sharing those with others, that defined him as human. Stories help us build connection and find meaning - making the everyday archetypal and the divine fathonable.

But as the late Hollywood producer Robert Evans reminds us: "There are three sides to every story: my side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently".

Imagine knowing a story inside out, and then coming across a secret trove of letters and diaries that has the potential to rewrite history - and reveal the truth. 

It’s what every journalist dreams of. But what if the truth is just a fantasy?

Back in the 1980s, the world was rocked by the discovery of Hitler’s diaries. The problem was, the diaries were fake. Too late for the renowned historian Hugh Trevor-Roper who had championed their authenticity, in one false step eviscerating his 40 year career.

So when during lockdown, a friend of mine, the journalist Lesley-Ann Jones, was contacted by someone who claimed to be the custodian of Freddie Mercury’s personal notebooks, her response was extreme caution. Being an old school Fleet Street hack - her description not mine - Lesley-Ann knows how important it is to check and then double check the facts.

The question remains, how did this person know such intimate and meticulous detail about Freddie’s life? Because - they would go on to claim - they were Freddie’s secret daughter. 

It sounds fantastical, improbable, deluded even. The wild imagination of an obsessive fan? Or of a trouble-making troll. Speculative fiction perhaps, but that is very different from the truth.

When I first heard about this story, I was sceptical, but the evidence was compelling. The initial email attachment Lesley-Ann received was 41-pages long. Over the next four years, this woman - who has become known as ‘B’ - shared with Lesley-Ann over a hundred thousand words detailing her childhood with Freddie, as well as extracts from Freddie's diaries and notebooks.

Could the story be true? 

Let’s face it, the probability of pop and rock stars having illegitimate children is high. But Freddie? Really. There is one glaring issue here. Wasn’t Freddie gay? 

Human sexuality is complex of course. We think of Freddie as a gay icon, but what many don’t know is that he never 'came out’. In the 70s and 80s, the stigma of being gay was so great that to even hint in interviews that he slept with men and women - whilst not labelling his sexuality - was a big deal. Freddie compartmentalised his life and created personas - Let's not forget there was Freddie Mercury and Freddie Bulsara.

Just as gay rights were making headway, the AIDS epidemic devastated the cause, wiping out whole communities in a matter of years. Attacks by right-wing governments, the tabloids and general ignorance compounded a collective ‘freeze’ trauma response. It wasn’t until the late 80s that gay people began to regroup and refocus. The fight back led to the adopting of safer sex practices, radical social change, and a more mainstream sense of gay identity.

Freddie died in 1991, at a time when there was no effective treatment for HIV and AIDS. He revealed his HIV status just days before died, confirming what many already suspected. The timing of his announcement was ultimately his choice, even if some felt his secrecy had let the cause down. Back then, there was so much fear and shame that obituaries often spoke about ‘cancer’ or ‘pneumonia’. What Freddie would never know was how much love and support he had and how his final statement would make a meaningful impact.

As for Freddie’s diaries and notebooks, these have become the basis of a best-selling book Love, Freddie - Freddie Mercury’s Secret Life and Love. To say this has sent a tremor through the Queen-iverse is an understatement. ‘B’ claims she wants to set the record straight, to tell the true story about Freddie’s childhood, music, private life and final wishes. She has asked for nothing in return, except the truth for him. 

There's one chapter of Freddie’s life that particularly interests me. His relationship with Jim Hutton. Jim was a barber, who worked at the Savoy Hotel in London. They met in the mid-80s, at a time when Freddie’s rock and roll excesses were beginning to take their toll. Alone and creatively adrift - in Munich of all places - what he wanted and needed - was something more stable and secure. In Jim he found that. The sexual side of their relationship did not last but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t intimacy, support, and commitment. In 1987, Freddie was diagnosed HIV+. If he thought Jim would abandon him - not uncommon back then - he was wrong. Apparently, Jim told him, “don’t be stupid. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for the long haul.” Theirs was a complex relationship by all accounts, but let’s face it, dating a global superstar was never going to be straight-forward. Together they became ‘house and garden’. Freddie loved creating a home, buying art and antiques, Jim was the gardener. The relationship coincided with Freddie’s creative renaissance - Barcelona - his glorious 1987 collaboration with Monserrat Caballé.

‘B’’s take on Jim Hutton is that he was no more than ‘what amounted to a personal rent boy: a convenient partner for sex once Freddie was no longer able to go out cruising to pick up other men.’ 

I just don’t buy this. The hook-up scene certainly changed in the late 80s, but condoms and the safer sex message meant that abstinence - or enforced monogamy for that matter - was not the only option. I think this judgment diminishes same-sex relationships, as well as what Freddie and Jim had together. ‘B’ may want to tell the truth, but then again, she was a teenager in the 80s, brought up in a bourgeois Catholic household. Her insight into Jim and Freddie’s relationship may reflect her attitudes at that time - or now. Just because she is Freddie’s daughter, does not mean she’s open-minded, or progressive, or knows anything about relationships that transcend the normative frame. If that is the case, I don’t hold that against her. The truth is complicated. Sometimes it gets in the way of telling the true story.

Love, Freddie - Freddie Mercury’s Secret Life and Love - Lesley-Ann Jones - out now.

The Kid Stays In the Picture - Robert Evans