The Truth About Love

When earliest man sat around the savannah campfire, it was his ability to tell stories - and share those with others - that made him human. Stories help us build connection and make sense of our existence. They are fundamental to who were are. But as the late Hollywood producer Robert Evans reminds us: 

"There are three sides to every story: my side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently".

Imagine knowing a story inside out, and then coming across a secret trove of letters and diaries that has the potential to rewrite history - and reveal the truth. 

It’s what every journalist dreams of. But what if the truth is just a fantasy?

Back in the 1980s, the world was rocked by the discovery of Hitler’s diaries. The problem was, the diaries were fake. Too late for the renowned historian Hugh Trevor-Roper who had championed their authenticity, in one false step undermining his 40 year reputation.

So when during lockdown, a friend of mine, the journalist Lesley Ann-Jones, was contacted by someone who claimed to be the custodian of Freddie Mercury’s personal notebooks - her response was extreme caution. Being an old school Fleet Street hack - her description not mine - Lesley-Ann knows how important it is to check and then double check the facts.

The question remains, how did this person know such intimate and meticulous detail about Freddie’s life? Because - they would later claim - they were Freddie’s secret daughter. 

It sounds fantastical, improbable, deluded even. The wild imagination of an obsessive fan or trouble-maker? Good fiction perhaps, but that is very different from the truth.

When I first heard about this story, I was sceptical, but the evidence was compelling. The initial email attachment Lesley-Ann received was 41-pages long. Over the next four years, this woman - who has become known as ‘B’ - has shared with Lesley-Ann over a hundred thousand words detailing her relationship with Freddie as well as extracts from his diaries and notebooks.

Could the story be true? 

Let’s face it, the probability of pop and rock stars having illegitimate children is high. But Freddie? Really. There’s one glaring issue here. Wasn’t Freddie gay? 

As we know, human sexuality is complex. We think of Freddie as a gay icon, but what many don’t know is that he never 'came out’. In the 70s and 80s, the stigma of being gay was so great that to hint in interviews that he slept with men and women - whilst not labelling his sexuality - was a big deal. Freddie compartmentalised his life and created personas - Let's not forget there was Freddie Mercury and Freddie Bulsara.

Just as gay rights were making headway, the AIDS epidemic devastated the cause, wiping out whole communities in a matter of years. Attacks by government, the tabloids and general ignorance compounded a freeze response. It wasn’t until the late 80s that communities began to fight back, regroup and refocus - leading the way around safer sex, political change and human rights. 

Freddie died in 1991, at a time when there was no effective treatment for HIV and AIDS. He revealed his HIV status, just weeks before died, confirming what many already suspected. The timing of his announcement was ultimately his choice and a not uncommon decision. Back then, obituaries spoke about ‘cancer’ or ‘pneumonia’. What Freddie would never know was how much love and support he had and how his statement would impact the political landscape for the better. 

As for Freddie’s diaries and notebooks, these have become the basis of a book Love, Freddie - Freddie Mercury’s Secret Life and Love. To say this has sent a tremor through the Queen universe is an understatement. ‘B’ claims she wants to set the record straight, to tell the true story about Freddie’s childhood, his music, his polygamous bisexuality, about Phillimore Gardens, and Freddie the private man, and about Freddie’s last will. She asked for nothing in return, except the truth for him. 

There's one chapter of Freddie’s life that particularly interests me. His relationship with Jim Hutton. Jim was a barber, working at the Savoy Hotel in London. It was the mid-80s and Freddie had been hammering the rock and roll lifestyle in Munich, alone and creatively adrift. He wanted more and found that in Jim. The sexual side of their relationship did not last but a loving committed relationship does not need to involve monogamy or sex. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t intimacy, support, and commitment. In 1987, Freddie was diagnosed HIV+, and around this time, Jim was too. They were there for each other. Many relationships in those days did not survive that diagnosis, but theirs did. A complex relationship no doubt, but let’s face it, dating a global superstar was never going to be straight-forward. Together they became ‘house and garden’. Freddie loved creating a home, buying art and antiques, Jim was the gardener. The relationship coincided with Freddie’s creative renaissance - Barcelona - his glorious 1987 collaboration with Monserrat Caballé.

‘B’’s take on Jim Hutton is that he was no more than ‘what amounted to a personal rent boy: a convenient partner for sex once Freddie was no longer able to go out cruising to pick up other men.’ 

I just don’t buy this. The hook-up scene certainly changed after 1987, but condoms and the safer sex message, meant that abstinence was not the only option. I think this judgment diminishes the complexity of same sex relationships and what Freddie and Jim had together, but then ‘B’ was a teenager in the 80s, brought up in a Catholic household. This insight may reflect her attitude at that time, and just because she is Freddie’s daughter, does not mean she is a progressive and open-minded adult. I don’t hold that against her. Let’s remember, "There are three sides to every story: my side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently".

Love, Freddie - Freddie Mercury’s Secret Life and Love - Lesley-Ann Jones - out now.